David Reviews

 Biting the hand that feeds us since 2002.

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Childhood Trauma
"Chad"

Matt said:

An actor? Really? If so then that is an extraordinary performance. I'm totally convinced he's real.


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Latest Additions

Short Films
"State of Emergency"
5 mins 34s
17 Jan 2017
There is something so audacious about this film by Sebastien Petretti that you may be left unsure whether to laugh or cry but you'll nonetheless know you've seen something extraordinary. At its heart - in narrative terms - is a story being told by one young man to another. Keen to hear all the sordid details, the second young man urges him on with questions pressing for elaboration about the sexual encounter that may or may not have taken place.

Tor Miller
"Always"
3 mins 41s
15 Jan 2017
Brooklyn-born singer Tor Miller walks through an endless underpass in his latest release 'Always'. Besieged with doubts about his relationship, his fears are represented in the accompanying promo by identical women who accost him along the way. Is his significant other more replaceable than he wants to believe? Is he just afraid of being alone?

Young Thug
"Wyclef Jean"
4 mins 52s
17 Jan 2017
This promo consists of director (sorry, co-director) Ryan Staake explaining in intricate detail how the film he'd planned to make fell apart spectacularly... mainly because the artist never showed up. Young Thug's only contribution is a voicemail about his creative vision ("kiddie cars... and bad bitches, a lot of hoes"). Oh, and some mobile phone footage of him miming to 'Wyclef Jean' and eating Cheetos.

Short Films
"2D Run"
5 mins 38s
17 Jan 2017
Here’s a film you just want to keep running and running and running. Bulgarian parkour artist Ilko Iliev turns the city streets into one endless assault course, sprinting and leaping over every barrier and gap. There are some breathtaking moments, not least a daring stroll down the side of the Buzludzha Monument. We can imagine various health and safety officials reaching for a glass of the hard stuff watching this.

Trivago
"Too Many Things"
20s
16 Jan 2017
More slapstick from Trivago as their spokesperson struggles with the aftermath of a shopping spree. She manages to open her front door with her hands full, but she takes a nasty tumble. The accommodation website suggests their strength is focusing solely on hotel rooms. Not sure the, erm, stuntwork was necessary to tell us that.

Philadelphia
"Pasta"
10s
17 Jan 2017
Celebrity chef Lorraine Pascale has created a series of recipes featuring Philadelphia's various cheese-adjacent incarnations, in this case carbonara style pasta. Presumably 'carbonara style' because anybody familiar with actual carbonara is likely to baulk at the suggestion that traditional ingredients can be substituted successfully with white goop.

Magnet
"Senses"
30s
16 Jan 2017
A kitchen should be a treat for all the senses, according to this Magnet ad. While this chap listens to music as he prepares dinner, he's joined by a jazz ensemble, some lush greenery, and guests from a Great Gatsby-style bash. It's the latest in the kitchen retailer's campaign to prove beauty is found in function as well as aesthetic.

MQ
"Transforming Treatment"
30s
16 Jan 2017
MQ are the first major UK charity focused on funding research into mental health - and this is their first major ad, launched in a special presentation on Channel 4. We're shown a series of historical clips depicting things which were said to be impossible - the reunification of Germany, humans in space, amputees able to run - before the naysayers' screens are shattered.

The Weeknd
"Party Monster"
4 mins 27s
17 Jan 2017
The Weeknd's recent dalliance with Selena Gomez has got everyone in a tizz: his ex, Bella Hadid; her ex, Justin Bieber; and pretty much anyone willing to voice their opinion. In amongst it all, there's 'Party Monster'. Augmented vocals and eerie synths resonate throughout the singer's latest track, while director BRTHR has crafted another hyper-realized promo. You may need to rest your eyes afterwards.

XLS Medical
"Kim and Sue"
30s
16 Jan 2017
XLS Medical change tack from their last 'glamorous' ad and instead pitch themselves as the diet pill of choice for busy women on the go. Unfortunately the testimonials sound a bit canned, and Sue's slightly crazed eyes when she gestures to her dress and disbelievingly exclaims 'I've got it on!' make us feel sympathy rather than envy at her weight loss.

DFS
"Introductory Savings"
20s
15 Jan 2017
The DFS winter sale continues and the furniture retailer has some "special introductory prices" to tempt consumers. As is par for the course, we're shown a variety of sofas while the VO reels off the necessary information: a fifteen-year guarantee, nothing to pay for a year... all the greatest hits, really.

Harveys
"Sale"
10s
12 Jan 2017
This ad for Harveys' latest 'sale of all sales' (can't help but think they've missed a 'sale of thrones' joke here) focuses on one sofa, panning up the red leather to show us the finer details of the product. Meanwhile, the voiceover is desperately squishing in as much information as possible, which inevitably makes it sound like she's overdosed on helium.

Apple AirPods
"Stroll"
60s
16 Jan 2017
The first advertising push for Apple’s AirPod earphones has a job on its hands. Last year’s Apple press conference sparked frenzied reactions online as headphone jacks and wires were consigned to history. Now the tech giant has to convince consumers that cordless earbuds are the future... and they’ve gone about it in typical Apple fashion.

Suzuki
"Facial Recognition"
30s
14 Jan 2017
Cheeky chaps Ant and Dec are back to their old tricks for Suzuki in another hidden-camera ad. This time the lads are pretending to voice 'facial recognition software' for the car, identifying a young driver as being over sixty - much to her chagrin. The pair clearly find themselves as hilarious as ever as they cackle gleefully at their prank.

Indeed
"What/Where"
30s
14 Jan 2017
Recruitment site Indeed ask plenty of questions in this commercial. They want us to think about what we want from our jobs, and to use their online search tools once we find the answers. When you’ve got James Reed galvanizing job hunters elsewhere in this sector, we can’t help but feel his rivals need to up their game.

Cancer Research
"Hair"
30s
14 Jan 2017
Cancer Research’s nationwide campaign visits Leicester Royal Infirmary as these two women greet the side effects of chemotherapy with good humour. The campaign moves into uncharted territory on Wednesday 18th January with an ad featuring a live colonoscopy. Let's hope the viewing public's exposure to shows like 'Embarrassing Bodies' means they'll simply be intrigued rather than squeamish.

Chevrolet
"Focus Group"
60s
16 Jan 2017
Chevrolet's latest in their 'real people, not actors' campaign features a focus group of 'real Lego figures' discussing the Batmobile... with its owner present. They suggest the car's owner is probably a defensive weirdo with no friends, which is pretty much the same conclusion drawn in the Sky Broadband campaign he features in on this side of the pond.

Cancer Research
"Sue"
30s
14 Jan 2017
This ad for Cancer Research reminds us that we can do good posthumously by adding the charity into our will. Sue poignantly relates the appreciation for life and hope for the future that surviving cancer has given her, while onscreen statistics inform us that gifts in wills fund over a third of the essential research into treating and curing the disease.

Lidl
"Kale"
20s
16 Jan 2017
Lidl continue to tackle tweets from members of the public who wish to express their erroneous assumptions about the supermarket - in this case 'Amanda' is convinced that veg is so cheap there because it's 'the reject stuff'. We're shown a wholesome kale farmer explaining why his hand-harvested produce proves her wrong.

Dettol
"Faces"
20s
16 Jan 2017
Looks like someone on the Dettol creative team is a fan of Things with Faces - the website dedicated to anthropomorphized fixtures and fittings. How the wonders of the internet never cease! This ad suggests we view our household surfaces as family members.... while attacking them with anti-bacterial sprays and wipes.

NatWest
"Nuts and Bolts"
20s
15 Jan 2017
NatWest reveal: “We’ve been thinking about nuts and bolts.” Don’t worry, they’re going somewhere with this. The bank compares itself to all those nails and screws that keep things secure, and we’re told their business support team can help others build for the future. Part of the institution's ongoing campaign about its raison d'ętre.

Oak Furnitureland
"Morning Routine"
20s
13 Jan 2017
We join the (surprisingly small) Oak Furnitureland salesman as he gets ready for another exciting day. Judging by his wardrobe, perhaps the brand does have a sense of humour about this campaign’s repetitive nature. Plus we can’t help but think they missed a trick in not releasing ‘Fresh Oak Pour Homme’ before Christmas: “The perfect gift for the furniture store assistant in your life”.

Quorn
"Kate Richardson-Walsh"
20s
13 Jan 2017
Olympic Gold Medal-winning hockey player Kate Richardson-Walsh appears as the new spokesperson for Quorn's 'mince' and 'chicken' products. The protein content of the mysterious meatless material is strongly emphasised - as ever - but just because she says a lasagne made with Quorn is better than her dad's doesn't mean it's necessarily good.

Audi A5
"Pure Imagination"
60s
13 Jan 2017
An Audi technician ‘tucks in’ the factory’s supercomputer for the night. But what happens when artificial intelligence drifts off to the land of Nod? Best let Nexus’s GMUNK and the late Gene Wilder field that one. ‘Pure Imagination’ from ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’ scores this fantastical trip through databanks and along information highways.

Volvic
"Dark"
30s
11 Jan 2017
A girl dreads going to sleep in the dark in this Volvic commercial. Narration flits between the flame-haired youngster and a three-million-year-old volcano: she thinks monsters will get her, while the geological entity has “never shown weakness” (are dawns that scary, though?) Regardless, she steels herself with a sip of water. Take that, darkness!


David Reviews - Lovely Lenzie Ltd, Woodbourne House, Seven Sisters, Lenzie, G66 3AW. Telephone: +44 141 776 7766. Editor: Jason Stone.