David Reviews

 Biting the hand that feeds us since 2002.

Maltesers
"Dog (Signed Version)"
30s
16 September 2016
UK Chocolate

As the Paralympics drew to a close, Channel 4 provided us with further evidence of their commitment to diversity when one of their ad breaks was signed for the deaf in its entirety. But this was no po-faced rendition of words into sign language... that wouldn't be the Channel 4 way. Instead, the signing became part of the creative and added to the overall impact by fusing with the commercial behind.

The gag here is completely meta, as the kids say, because the commercial itself is entirely in sign language. What's a signer to do when his skills are completely surplus to requirements? Relax with a cup of tea and a bag of the advertised confectionery, obviously. This is excellent on so many levels and further evidence that Channel 4's focus on disability is unlikely to diminish just because the Rio carnival has come to an end.

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Maltesers
"Dog (Signed Version)"
30s
16 Sep 2016
As the Paralympics drew to a close, Channel 4 provided us with further evidence of their commitment to diversity when one of their ad breaks was signed for the deaf in its entirety. But this was no po-faced rendition of words into sign language... that wouldn't be the Channel 4 way. Instead, the signing became part of the creative and added to the overall impact by fusing with the commercial behind.

Maltesers
"Dance Floor"
30s
6 Sep 2016
The third of the three excellent commercial for Maltesers which won £1 million of free airtime on Channel 4 has a woman in a wheelchair describing a mishap on the dance floor at a wedding. It didn't end badly for her though... she managed to pull the best man. Another enlightening instalment.

Maltesers
"Theo's Dog"
30s
6 Sep 2016
Another helping of funny and rude from the campaign for Maltesers which was selected by Channel 4 to champion diversity. In this execution - which is told in sign language - we learn how a hearing aid was swallowed by a dog and the only prospect of its return lies in filtering the pet's excrement. None of this is explicit but it doesn't take much to read between the lines.

Maltesers
"New Boyfriend"
30s
6 Sep 2016
It's sometimes said that the Marx Brothers got away with their most risqué gags because the censors didn't understand the innuendo and we have to wonder whether something similar happened here - as we can't quite believe a gag as rude as this has made it onto our screens. We're bloody glad it has though, as it's a perfect way of reminding a general audience that you don't have to be able-bodied to have a wicked sense of humour.

Maltesers
"Hide 'n' Seek"
90s
22 Jun 2016
Those who are always ready for a game of hide-and-seek will appreciate this online Maltesers tale featuring the vocal talents of comedian Andi Osho. For Osho, kids are very much a mixed bag - especially when your nephew neglects his duty as seeker for the afternoon. The animation has a spontaneous feel to it which complements Osho's chirpy turn as raconteur.

Maltesers
"9-5"
80s
22 Jun 2016
Maltesers present another amusing tale from their selection of animated shorts designed to be shared for an online giggle. This time, it's stand-up comedian Lou Sanders on narration duty as he describes how an office prank involving dog pictures and a photocopier leads her colleague Colin to reveal he's far from a captain of industry.

Maltesers
"Embarrassment"
78s
22 Jun 2016
Dedicated proponents of frivolity that they are, Maltesers have now launched a series of online shorts designed to keep the mood light-hearted on social media. This first instalment sees comedian Lucy Beaumont relate a blush-making encounter in a London boutique while charming animation brings her story to life with the chocolate brand's signature levity.

Maltesers
"Barney"
20s
13 May 2016
Maltesers may be little balls of deliciousness, but they take on a whole new perspective in this spot. A woman's dog - wearing the lampshade of humiliation - wanders into the kitchen where the woman and a friend are chatting at the table. Using the confectionery to offer a visual explanation, we learn that Barney has been unmanned, so to speak. The shame.

Maltesers
"Gran"
20s
13 May 2016
A couple of colleagues are taking a break in the stock room and get talking about a mutual friend's evidently frail gran. Using a Malteser to demonstrate the sorry tale, one of the women tells how a small gust of wind proves fatal. It's an amusing idea for a campaign - whatever the nature of the story being told, the glibness of acting it out with confectionery can't help but make us smile.

Maltesers
"Necklace"
20s
13 May 2016
Individual Maltesers continue to help illustrate the key themes of various anecdotes and confessions in this fun new campaign. Here, a nurse admits she borrowed a friend's treasured necklace on the evening she danced with Jamie, "the really fit one". But that's not all that happened, it turns out. She primes her friend for the outcome by lining up Maltesers and scattering them... we can all see where this is heading.

Maltesers
"Leaving"
20s
8 May 2016
Following in Mum and Dad's footsteps can be a tricky proposition for many. When yours are comedy greats Jennifer Saunders and Ade Edmondson, it's, erm, no laughing matter. Luckily, Beattie Edmondson looks to have inherited both her parents' funny bones as this chucklesome Maltesers ad demonstrates.

Maltesers
"Casting"
30s
1 Feb 2015
Comedy duo Watson and Oliver are sublime as jobbing actresses for whom the confectionery is no more than a mild distraction or a prop. Here, Ingrid Oliver makes fun of the rival who beat Lorna Watson to the role of a gnome with the help of Malteser-topped cupcakes. It's the kind of funny that will hugely appeal to the target audience.

Maltesers
"Ruff"
30s
3 Nov 2014
Ric Cantor has provided a perfect continuation of the vernacular established by 'Green Wing' director Victoria Pile in the latest ad for Maltesers. Focusing on offscreen dialogue from jobbing actresses playing Tudor royalty, it's beautifully dry and directed with real intelligence. To pass the time waiting for their scenes they eat Maltesers from their ruffs; and the understated way in which they communicate is wonderfully at odds with the surreal sight of chocolate rolling down their massive collars.

Maltesers
"Britain's Got Talent Tickets"
30s
19 Apr 2014
A return for the couple who've devised an ingenious way of sharing a packet of Maltesers ahead of an offer which will gain (un)lucky recipients tickets for the Britain's Got Talent live show. Quite why anyone would want to watch delusional losers putting themselves up for mockery is beyond us, but they do, so you could find yourself in possession of a freebie next time you buy some of the aforementioned confectionery.

Maltesers
"Tom"
30s
22 Apr 2013
Via webcam two friends discuss the merits of a top one of them must have bought while temporarily blind. The other is more excited about the new confectionery bar she's eating... more so, indeed, than she is about her new chap, who wanders into view and takes a bite of said confectionery.

Maltesers
"More Launching Fun"
30s
5 Feb 2013
Another in the campaign promoting Maltesers for Comic Relief. Meanwhile, if we want to join in, we can do so by launching said balls of chocolate into the neighbours' gardens or using them to pockmark the office ceiling so they can be part of the legacy of the mysterious stains that grace office ceilings the world over.

Maltesers
"Comic Relief"
30s
3 Feb 2013
People eat Maltesers in amusing ways and hilarity ensues. But it's all for a good cause as 5p from every "special pack" bought will go to Comic Relief. So no need to consume them in the irritating fashions shown; just wolf the lot down in the kitchen before the rest of your family find out and you'll have done your bit.

Maltesers
"Double Dutch Airport"
30s
17 Sep 2012
Four women working at an airport are inspired by the advertised snack to enjoy the "lighter side" of life. They use the cordons used to maintain orderly queuing for an impromptu session of skipping. Strangely, this strange behaviour doesn't gain the attention of bored police officers carrying machine guns.

Maltesers
"75th Anniversary"
30s
20 Feb 2012
To celebrate the seventy-fifth anniversary of the advertised confectionery, we're given glimpses from commercials for it broadcast over the years. Isn't it depressing that Mars decided to mark this anniversary but decided it didn't merit a newly-filmed piece of advertising.

Maltesers
"Home Movies"
60s
17 Mar 2011
Here then are the imaginative ideas produced by the British public when challenged to think of new ways to eat the advertised chocolate. The competition helped Maltesers raise a million pounds for Comic Relief. Which is nice.

Maltesers
"Comic Relief 2"
30s
3 Feb 2011
Another fun sequence shows people finding imaginative ways of lifting the advertised confectionery to their waiting mouths. This is one of a pair of films promoting a connection with the biannual Comic Relief fund-raising bonanza.

Maltesers
"Comic Relief 1"
30s
3 Feb 2011
A fun sequence shows people finding imaginative ways of lifting the advertised confectionery to their waiting mouths. This is one of a pair of films promoting a connection with the biannual Comic Relief fund-raising bonanza.

Maltesers
"Loose Women Sponsorship"
25s
25 Mar 2010
A pair of bumpers advertising the sponsorship of Loose Women by Maltesers features two Mums tricking their children into searching the garden for the confectionery when, in fact, the Mums are gobbling them up all by themselves.

Maltesers
"Ant & Dec's Push The Button Sponsorship"
87s
27 Feb 2010
This fun set of bumpers advertising Maltesers's sponsorship of Ant & Dec's Push The Button feature a giant hand chasing a packet of the advertised sweeties through suburbia and into the city. Octogenarian football commentator Stuart Hall provides the voice.

Maltesers
"Happy Easter"
20s
16 Feb 2010
Those enterprising people at Mars have invented a variant of the humble Malteser for Easter... and it's shaped like a bunny. One of the two campaign regulars gives one as a gift to the other but a discussion ensues when it's revealed that a leg has already been eaten.

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David Reviews - Lovely Lenzie Ltd, Woodbourne House, Seven Sisters, Lenzie, G66 3AW. Telephone: +44 141 776 7766. Editor: Jason Stone.