David Reviews

 Biting the hand that feeds us since 2002.

Oreo
"World Licking Champion"
60s
11 January 2017
Israel Biscuits

This Israeli commercial for double-stuffed Oreos is... how do we put this delicately... completely bloody bonkers. It focuses on Lickson, the 'World Licking Champ' and his ridiculously oversized tongue. A training montage features press-ups with said tongue, a lot of blue spandex, and some boasting about his licking prowess - no giggling at the back, please.

Domino's Pizza
"Winter Survival"

Chris said:

great acting


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Oreo
"World Licking Champion"
60s
11 Jan 2017
This Israeli commercial for double-stuffed Oreos is... how do we put this delicately... completely bloody bonkers. It focuses on Lickson, the 'World Licking Champ' and his ridiculously oversized tongue. A training montage features press-ups with said tongue, a lot of blue spandex, and some boasting about his licking prowess - no giggling at the back, please.

McVitie's Nibbles
"Kittens"
30s
5 Sep 2016
As a group of flatmates watch the TV, one opens a packet of the newly launched McVitie's Nibbles and is delighted when a kitten wriggles out. Pretty soon, all four are cooing over a bunch of them to the incongruous strains of 'Grease Is The Word'. More than anything else about this campaign, we'd love to know who chooses the music, which has included Grange Hill's theme tune and that 80s classic, 'Axel F'.

Oreo
"Wonderfilled"
30s
30 Aug 2016
Oreo continue to push the limits of our eardrums with their Owl City-inspired jingle, but though sensory solace can be found in this ad's animated visuals. Seemingly inspired by a glance at a nearby dessert menu, the American brand add strawberry cheesecake and mint to their range, and the new shades of creme filling take their place in a biscuity kaleidoscope.

Bahlsen Choco Leibniz
"Whodunnit"
30s
18 Apr 2016
This ad for Choco Leibniz biscuits may provide brief enjoyment for murder mystery fanatics, yet we can't help but feel the idea could have been afforded a more engrossing treatment. A drab inspector-type has his Poirot moment thrown off track by the sight of the advertised biccy, leading him to accuse both the cardinal and the servant of wrongdoings. Decent, but not quite prime time.

Ritz
"Crisp & Thin"
10s
29 Mar 2016
For a 10-second spot, this is quite effective in terms of bringing the product to our attention and making it look appealing. Reprising the Irving Berlin song from the campaign launch last year, it flags up the fact that there's a new option on the block - the Ritz Crisp & Thins, which look intriguingly like a cross between a cracker and a crisp... and rather tasty at that.

Mikado
"Unleash"
20s
29 Mar 2016
This bonkers spot for Mikado - a brand of chocolate-covered biscuit sticks - doesn't really explain what the snack is but equally doesn't hold back on suggesting it's irresistible. An office full of arrestingly weird people stops on the dot of 2.15 to indulge its passion for the sticks... and it's a good job everyone feels the same way or the men in white coats would be summoned immediately.

Border Biscuits
"Biscuitiers"
30s
21 Mar 2016
This sweet, old-fashioned ad for Border Biscuits is redolent of 1970s children's TV, creating a sense of nostalgia as well as quality. Derek Griffiths's avuncular voiceover chatters away about the little 'Biscuitiers' who have been passionately working for over 30 years to bring their goods to the world at large, as the Biscuitiers themselves get busy with the mixing bowl.

Lotus
"Eden Hazard v 10,000 Cups"
2 mins 10s
22 Mar 2016
Say what you want about Eden Hazard's form for Chelsea this season, but the Belgium midfielder knows how to break a good cuppa. This entertaining piece for biscuit brand Lotus sees Hazard turn his free kick skills to a wall of cups and saucers - and it's an unsurprisingly clean effort. Including the player's interaction with director Joe Vanhoutteghem is a nice touch as well, giving the stunt a more personable feel.

Oreo
"Winning Ticket"
20s
8 Mar 2016
It's very hard to get past the dismal 'Wonderfilled Anthem' by Owl City when we watch this. It is a tune of such unpalatable awfulness that it appears literally designed to stop anyone over the age of 7 from watching so a secret message can be conveyed to toddlers around the world. The visual aspect gets its job done but that music... no!

Jacob's Snacks
"Total Eclipse of the Heart"
30s
29 Feb 2016
Bonnie Tyler's 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' - Adland's karaoke staple - receives a fun airing in this ad for Jacob's Mini Cheddars. These three lads demonstrate their Lip Sync Battle credentials while the packets in their hands provide the backing vocals. Lovely piece of background work also from the mum trying and failing to get the couch choir's attention.

McVitie's Biscuits
"Student"
30s
19 Feb 2016
So this is how students get their kicks these days. Forget drinking Thunderbird Blue in the lecture theatre or falling asleep mid-joint - instead, whip out the McVitie's biccies your mum's packed and watch everyone go gaga over the kittens that come tumbling out. Cool! Add a bit of 'Axel F' over the top and you're sorted.

Jacob's Cream Crackers
"Move It"
30s
21 Feb 2016
Well, it was bound to happen eventually: Jacob's Cream Crackers have actually gone crackers themselves. Don't call the men in white coats yet though as they may just have a hit on their hands. A woman sits herself down in front of the exotic fish tank at an aquarium to enjoy a light snack- the perfect excuse for her packet of Jacob's crackers to break into an animated rendition of Reel 2 Real's 'I Like To Move It'.

TUC
"The Full TUC"
27s
18 Nov 2015
Well, ain't this is a strange bit of fun. A construction worker finds himself on stage in front of a collection of women hoping for "the fully monty" but he's distracted by hunger pangs and appears unable to perform. The fool should have brought along some TUC biscuits! A closing shot suggests the hens may have had their way with this unlikely fox.

Tunnock's Caramel Bars
"Questions"
20s
1 Sep 2015
As always with this campaign, the performances are slightly stilted. We assume that's a deliberate ploy to make them instantly recognisable but it makes them look a bit amateurish. The little girl doesn't quite buy into the concept though and offers a half-decent performance instead... for total woodenness we have to rely on the man playing her embarrassed dad.

Oreo
"Vampire"
30s
10 Aug 2015
Another piece of animated whimsy suggests that instead of garlic or a big old cross, an Oreo is the best way to deal with a vampire. The sickly-sweet jingle will no doubt grate on some nerves - as will the notion of replacing a British biccie with a cookie - but the animation is pleasing to the eye, as is the notion of Dracula getting his calcium intake.

Oreo
"Three Little Pigs"
30s
4 Aug 2015
The chocolate and cream cookie remains a distinctly American confection, but this charming piece of animation presents an enjoyable case for its existence. Apparently, if the big bad wolf had been presented with an Oreo from the beginning the familiar tale might have consisted of DIY and pool parties... and been told through the medium of inoffensive indie pop.

Jacob's Snacks
"Rally"
30s
14 Jul 2015
Jacob the chef fancies himself as the Martin Luther King, Jr. of the snacks world in this latest outing for the pint-sized mascot. To an adoring (fantasy) crowd, he proudly announces Jacob's new Cracker Crisps variant. These ads haven't really caught the imagination to any great extent, but at least Jason Cook gets a decent scenario to play with for once.

Ritz
"Puttin on the Ritz"
40s
3 Jul 2015
Irving Berlin's 1927 song 'Puttin' On The Ritz' provides an excuse for a full-blown musical number in this impressive piece by expert chaos-monger Fredrik Bond. The production design evokes 1950s musicals and the dance moves are right for the project. Ironically, the weak link is the song itself which lacks the pizazz to earn this a full complement of stars.

Jacob's Snacks
"Lunch Trolley"
30s
11 May 2015
Like some warped catering version of The Omen's infernal tyke Damien, Jason Cook pedals along corridors and walkways in an anonymous office block until he rams Janice's lunch trolley. Having send sandwiches asunder, he offers up his flatbreads and whatnots to the hungry workers who murmur their approval. There is nothing more to say.

Tunnock's Caramel Bars
"Rally Car"
20s
4 May 2015
Tunnock's take a leaf out of Red Bull's book by placing their confectionery in the world of adrenaline-fuelled sports. Straightforward use of footage from a rally event sells the notion that the low-calorie biscuit is "always a winner". The car sponsored by the advertised product careers around the course accompanied by the cheers of the spectators.

DeBeukelaer
"New Cookies In Town"
30s
20 Apr 2015
"Cookies just like in New York!" the VO tells us. What - the UK now has cookies, same as America? Yes. A bakery with a tongue-twisting name has delivered us cookies that are "good, big and tasty" as it shows up a close-up of brown goo oozing out of one of its confections. "Always yummy," the VO continues. Can't we be spoken to like adults if we want these things?

McVitie's Biscuits
"Llamas"
30s
6 Apr 2015
McVitie's continue their mission to have every cute member of the animal kingdom emerge from packets of their tea break treats. This time, alpaca llamas turn a study session upside down. The camelid is a memorable mascot for their new range, while the ad scores retro points by synchronising the llama's voracious chewing with the Grange Hill theme song.

Belvita
"Belvita Meets Tassimo"
90s
25 Mar 2015
This action-packed commercial for a Belvita/Tassimo team-up warns rogues and villains there's a new crimefighter in town. His name? Jean-Francois. A dweebish looking chap wanders down a dark alley to find a young woman being mugged. His protestations are met with mockery by the criminals. Wrong move.

Jacob's Snacks
"Police"
30s
2 Mar 2015
The latest in the brand's series featuring the miniature chef protagonist sees him attract the attention of the rozzers. A traffic ticket seems inevitable until he successfully distracts them with his range of flavoursome snacks. Both sides walk away feeling they've pulled a fast one and cheffy is free to careen along the road at a dangerous 12mph again.

McVitie's Biscuits
"Cute Toys"
20s
16 Feb 2015
Two men are cleaning the glass of a shop front - and as they wipe away the foam they reveal tiny adorable cuddly toys peeping out from behind biscuit packets. The sight is so cute all they can do is stop and gaze at these little creatures soppily. And what about the rest of us? Well, if we buy enough packets of the promotional biscuits we may be able to obtain the furries for our very own.

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David Reviews - Lovely Lenzie Ltd, Woodbourne House, Seven Sisters, Lenzie, G66 3AW. Telephone: +44 141 776 7766. Editor: Jason Stone.