David Reviews

 Biting the hand that feeds us since 2002.

British Meat
"Mini Roast"
30s
25 October 2016
UK Meat

This ad from British Meat is dedicated to persuading us - hashtag and all - that #miniroasts during the week are a viable teatime option without all the time and effort. 'Why wait 'til Sunday?' asks the extremely commanding gentleman with the cowboy boots, oven jetpack, and dramatic medieval backing track. Well, when you put it like that...

Shell
"Make The Future"

Matt said:

This makes Clean Bandit's Microsoft death pact look like a positively shrewd move.


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British Meat
"Mini Roast"
30s
25 Oct 2016
This ad from British Meat is dedicated to persuading us - hashtag and all - that #miniroasts during the week are a viable teatime option without all the time and effort. 'Why wait 'til Sunday?' asks the extremely commanding gentleman with the cowboy boots, oven jetpack, and dramatic medieval backing track. Well, when you put it like that...

Tapi
"Floorgasm"
30s
17 Oct 2016
Flooring retailer Tapi gets in on the hashtag action with, erm, #Floorgasm. Be careful typing that one into your Twitter search. The ad itself offers an unwelcome insight into this man's home life. Apparently, a newly laid carpet is enough to send him - to use the parlance of Ron Manager - into "the throes of sexual ecstasy". Urgh, brings a whole new meaning to shag carpeting.

Rubicon
"Spring Fling"
30s
11 Aug 2016
Oo-er! Rubicon seems to be suggesting that H2O ain't such an innocent drink after all. Lady Spring-Water is encouraging some rather muscular mangos et al to get fruity with her while her flavourless hubby looks on, scandalised. Is this what you want in your beverage? Probably, because it's promising lots of flavour for only 15 calories. Certainly attention-grabbing.

Batiste
"Yes You Can"
30s
9 May 2016
We never thought we'd mention Batiste and Barack Obama in the same sentence, but there's a first time for everything. The hair styling brand presents its own Obama-esque can-do moxie with this bright and bold commercial featuring a cheery cast turning hairy situations to their advantage. Thanks to Batiste's equally colourful selection, renegade strands needn't get in the way of a good time any more.

Pom-Bear
"Bare"
20s
2 May 2016
This ad for Pom-Bear crisps has a couple of the ursine-inspired (not flavoured, mind) snacks discussing what they're lacking in the best possible way. Full of good cheer rather than artificial colours or flavours, they're nonetheless flummoxed when told they're also as naked as the day their potato god made them. Hmm, we're not sure whether this should be shown before or after the watershed.

New Balance
"You Are Your Toughest Opponent "
60s
24 Apr 2016
New Balance strengthen their foothold in the UK market with this understated film profiling some of our top athletes and their most formidable adversaries: themselves. The likes of Aaron Ramsay, Joe Root, and Heather Watson reveal how looking inward has provided them with the necessary drive to succeed in their respective fields. It's a thoughtful idea and one that chimes well with the brand's ethos of constant refinement.

Dairylea
"Knights"
30s
5 Apr 2016
This is a great way for Dairylea to return to our screens. The sensibility is reminiscent of Quiet Storm's excellent Haribo work and it also brings to mind last year's Hovis ad. However, it's better than the latter while more than holding its own against the former. Two knights are readying themselves for a battle with some dragons when they stop for a little sustenance... but not all is as it seems.

Thomson Holidays
"First Dates Sponsorship"
45s
15 Mar 2016
A series of short and wry sponsorship bumpers for Channel 4's 'First Dates' feature a variety of couples who've stayed the course after that all-important first rendezvous. The suave VO has a smart comment for each scenario, while the relaxed tone of these clips aim to portray Thomson's Sensimar resorts as the ideal couples' getaway destination.

Purple Bricks
"Treat Myself"
30s
25 Jan 2016
The Purple Bricks duo finally escape their appropriately-coloured purgatory and get some much needed fresh air. They give the floor to this customer as she explains how satisfied she was with the website's tailored approach. How satisfied? Commissioning a portrait of her local property expert riding a unicorn - that kind of satisfied. Sure the grandchildren will be chuffed with that family heirloom.

Thomson Holidays
"Dreamliners"
30s
18 Jan 2016
Another reprise of William Shatner's startling performance of Bohemian Rhapsody and accompanying footage of the one-eyed teddy bear we first met a year and a half ago. This time, Thomson boasts of access to the new Dreamliner aircraft and their ability to take you to exotic locations in the the greatest possible comfort.

Rowse
"Natural"
30s
4 Nov 2015
This ad cleverly reveals that far from endangering bees when we steal their honey, we're actually boosting their activity and helping the little blighters germinate our crops. At a time when bee populations are frequently subjected to catastrophic falls, it's an astute pitch. It's been amusingly done too with lots of human nakedness acting as a cipher for the natural goodness.

McCoy's
"Car-aoke"
60s
25 Aug 2015
In promoting McCoy’s as the man’s crisp, it can be all too easy to stray into “well ‘ard” territory. BMB neatly sidesteps that problem with a plumber’s showstopping rendition of Ella Henderson’s ‘Ghost’ - see, it’s all about having confidence in what you do. Recently, we’ve seen ads with ordinary blokes strutting, cheerleading, and twirling like they just don’t care. Now we can add singing to the list with equally pleasing results.

Hula Hoops
"Dance Routine"
20s
20 Aug 2015
A trio of hands performs a dance routine in an improvised studio. The three 'dancers' wears paper baking cups as skirts; they also all wear hula hoops as leg warmers. It's quite an 80s vibe. The premise - as ever - is that fun never grows up. Whether your idea of fun involves choreographing your own fingers is another matter, but we can only applaud the sterling commitment!

Space Raiders
"Autopsy"
1 min 35s
20 Aug 2015
A great deal of affection has gone into this origin story for Space Raiders. Grainy, shaky cam footage captures the initial examination of an alien crash site and the subsequent autopsy. Bravely testing the alien's corn-based entrails, the examiner discovers humanity's only chance of defeating the extraterrestrial menace - by eating inexpensive packets of their "babies".

Hula Hoops Puft
"Getting Air"
20s
17 Aug 2015
Hula Hoops... now with added air! The best advertising to exploit the absence of something was Polo's in the last century and their commercials did the job so masterfully that nothing else can touch them. This campaign still has legs, as it were, but this isn't its finest moment and this doesn't look like it's been made with the required enthusiasm.

Rubicon
"Beach Dreaming"
30s
18 Aug 2015
If you can't go to the beach, let the beach come to you. That's what this fun spot for Rubicon juice promises as a couple in a shopping centre are instantly transported to an exotic paradise after imbibing the drink. The duty manager watches while the couple squat as if jumping into warm, tropical waters, and he decides to get in on the action, with questionable results. Not - under any circumstances - to be confused with the new Durex Play ad.

Yorkshire Tea
"Brewtopia"
60s
6 Jul 2015
It's no secret that Britain takes tea rather seriously... so it's no surprise Yorkshire Tea takes it very seriously indeed. In fact, tea is very much at the centre of their universe. Factory worker Brian gets more than he bargained for when his scrunched-up bit of paper fails to find the bin. His mercurial colleague takes the opportunity to fill him in on the brand's devotion to doing things "proper".

Hula Hoops
"Music Video"
30s
23 Jun 2015
Imagination has been brought to life in this sparky commercial for Hula Hoops which suggests they're as much fun to play with as they are to eat (something that's true... though not necessarily in a good way). A young girl pictures herself as a groovy grown-up dancer after placing two of the potatoey snacks on her finger tips.

Love Pork
"Lazy"
30s
8 May 2015
Younger readers may not have come across pork that's not been 'pulled' but there was a time when people occasionally used to eat this meat without the trendy adjective. But 'pulled pork' has now received the endorsement of Love Pork - a trade body whose sole objective, as its name implies, is to persuade us to eat more pork.

Appliances Online
"Cashback"
30s
27 Apr 2015
The online appliances vendor plug their cashback offer with a simple animated commercial and an enthusiastic VO. As ever, the ace up their sleeve is their pledge to deliver your white goods and audio-visual gizmos "even on weekends". As an aside, we never thought we'd hear 'Blitzkrieg Bop' used to help shift fridge freezers, but here we are.

Legoland
"Journey"
30s
23 Mar 2015
With the success of the ubiquitous (uBRICKuitous?) building blocks showing no signs of abating, the prospect of an Easter break visit to Legoland is an easy sell. This spot shows a myriad of colourful creations all migrating back to the Windsor resort. They'll be hoping a stampede of mesmerised youngsters follow suit.

Thomson Holidays
"Sensatori Resorts"
20s
19 Mar 2015
If luxury resorts don't spring to mind when you think of Thomson Holidays, this commercial wants to persuade you that you're underestimating them. Using the Teddy Bear and a few bars from Bohemian Rhapsody to attach it to last year's work, this film's use of a beautiful-looking location and a seductive VO combine to make it look as though you can use the holiday company to score a top-notch break.

New Balance
"Run Different"
60s
9 Mar 2015
A group of joggers head out in the night... their fluorescent trainers bright flashes of colour as they make their way towards their goal - not to outrun one another, but to give a neglected play park a new lease of life. It's an astute way of suggesting that New Balance isn't all "me, me, me" like some of the other sportswear brands.

Thomson Holidays
"Eye Mask"
20s
14 Feb 2015
This 20 second spot nicely reiterates the thrust of the main ad - which is that thanks to Thomson's tireless work on our behalf, a holiday becomes a guaranteed opportunity to relax and enjoy ourselves. A gentle instrumental version of Bohemian Rhapsody plays soothingly in the background as one-eyed Teddy's sleep mask is briefly raised so we can see him savouring the prospect of free drinks on his long haul flight.

Beef
"Midweek"
40s
24 Sep 2014
Shades of the famous Tango Blackcurrant ad as an office-bound fellow declares that we should consider a mini roast to bring a bit of Sunday to the tedious terrain of midweek. It's a lovely piece of hyperbole with a suitably silly climax and stands a chance of persuading people to do exactly as they're instructed. Watch out, farm animals - we're coming for your delicious corpses.

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David Reviews - Lovely Lenzie Ltd, Woodbourne House, Seven Sisters, Lenzie, G66 3AW. Telephone: +44 141 776 7766. Editor: Jason Stone.