David Reviews

 Biting the hand that feeds us since 2002.

Velvet Toilet Tissue
"Rabbit Muscle"
30s
11 October 2016
UK Toilet Paper

This commercial from Velvet light-heartedly pokes fun at the lofty 'scientific claims' often made in ads for products as mundane as toilet paper. Victoria is doing some very serious research on softness and strength, the voiceover informs us, which naturally involves lounging in a field of bunnies and being flung into the air by buff blokes. The scientists may look sceptical, but DAVID trusts her commitment to hard data.

Morrisons
"Beef Brisket"

Chris said:

"M&S an obvious touchstone". No, a complete copy!


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Velvet Toilet Tissue
"Rabbit Muscle"
30s
11 Oct 2016
This commercial from Velvet light-heartedly pokes fun at the lofty 'scientific claims' often made in ads for products as mundane as toilet paper. Victoria is doing some very serious research on softness and strength, the voiceover informs us, which naturally involves lounging in a field of bunnies and being flung into the air by buff blokes. The scientists may look sceptical, but DAVID trusts her commitment to hard data.

Royal London
"Mutiny"
30s
6 Jun 2016
It's good to hear Gethin Alderman's Welsh lilt uttering Royal London's name again as the insurer returns to its laudable live-action campaign with an adventure on the high seas. Time-travelling spokesperson Roy puts his sea legs to good use on a ship with a questionable division of labour. Insurrection soon breaks out with amusing zip as the mild-mannered Roy explains how Royal London's 'ProfitShare' scheme.

Kellogg's Ancient Legends
"Cleopatra"
30s
15 Mar 2016
This ad for the new 'Ancient Legends' cereal range by Kellogg's gives us an insight into the life and breakfast times of Cleopatra. While it won't be endorsed by any pre-eminent historians, it's fun to see the pharaoh's, ahem, hectic workday begin with a bowl of granola. Nice prop work with Cleo's snazzy sundial watch and the world's earliest number plate.

National Trust
"Love The Coast"
60s
14 Jul 2015
John Cooper Clarke writes poetry without pomp; the prosody of his lines both effortless and earthy. And this ad for the National Trust, with a piece both written and read by him demonstrates how powerful poetry can be when used wisely. It strikes quite a contrast with the terrible rhyming scripts we're forced to endure as we sift through the latest commercials at DAVID HQ.

Royal London
"Idents"
50s
13 Jun 2015
Gethin Alderman had better be stepping on to the stage at this year's Craft Arrows to collect a gong for his superb acting performances in a variety of films for Royal London... including this series of bumpers... or there will have been a serious miscarriage of justice. The comedy actor has a beautiful sense of timing and adds a real dividend every time.

Royal London
"Dentists"
40s
13 May 2015
Intrepid time traveler Roy provides assistance to a Victorian dentist, illustrating the point that Royal London are there to cover you when you're faced with uncomfortable treatment. The grotesque contraption propping open the poor chap's mouth is enough to give odontophobics bad dreams; but for those who stick around, it's a nicely performed ad with one of the funniest moments in any ad this year... hang-gliding in Russia.

Subway
"Brain and Mouth"
30s
14 Jan 2015
The eternal spirit / flesh conflict is brought into play here, as the sensible brain gets overruled by the sensuous mouth who just wants instant gratification at any cost. Especially when it comes to lunch. Fortunately for them, though, Subway has found a way to create harmony between them with an exciting chipotle filling and a great value deal.

Amazon Kindle
"Downton Abbey Sponsorship"
70s
1 Oct 2014
This series of bumpers has actors in period dramas incongruously reading their Kindles while they wait to be called in front of the cameras. These don't move beyond the humour of the anachronistic juxtaposition but they don't need to as someone has correctly calculated that it's simply funny to see something that doesn't quite add up.

Subway
"Fortune Teller"
20s
8 Sep 2014
One of an amusing series of films made for the Irish market which speculate about how Subway decide which sandwich will be available for just 2.99 each day. In this execution, a fortune teller comes into play, presumably revealing to the bejumpered duo that they will soon be eating meat and salad in strangely sweetened bread.

Coral
"Casino"
20s
12 May 2014
Four lads playing poker at home are taken aback when they suddenly hear the bell that signifies the start of a boxing bout and discover that it's heralding the arrival of a woman dressed as though she's auditioning to replace Big Bird on Sesame Street. She wants to entice them to bet online and judging by their mesmerised faces, they're up for it.

Specsavers
"Movies on 4 Sponsorship"
20s
2 Mar 2014
A hapless See-Threepio keeps wandering onto the wrong set in this series of bumpers for Movies on 4 by Specsavers. Instead of Studio 6, he finds himself in the middle of some Dickensian drama thanks - we can assume - to his poor vision rather than his discalculia. It's nicely underplayed, and we like the increasing level of irritation around him as he repeats his mistake.

Warner Hotels
"Fantasy"
40s
9 Jan 2014
This is a much better commercial than the first in this series which introduces us to the couple who watched their neighbours head to a Warner Hotel. There's some nice humour in the elaborate fantasy that unfolds when it become clear that the nosy neighbour's husband is quite taken with the hotel chain's offer.

Warner Hotels
"Too Old for New Things"
30s
26 Dec 2013
A nosy neighbour in the vein of Hyacinth Bucket disapprovingly explains that "next door has gone off to a Warner Hotel again". The way it's done suggests that Saga Holidays are for daredevil thrill seekers in comparison, and the hen-pecked husband role is so anachronistic it's not even tired any more.

Phones 4 U
"Movie Idents"
50s
24 Oct 2013
The premise of these suitably silly bumpers is that Phones 4 U can offer more - and these absurdly abbreviated movie scenarios are a demonstration of less. Once you get your head around this idea, you can see that they're great fun and you can enjoy the truncated nonsense.

Enterprise
"Announcement"
20s
23 Sep 2013
The OTT sales manager and his sidekick announce to the store that a customer has just benefited from their discounted weekend deal. Awkward high fives are fumbled, and the bemused customer is told that he's free to feel special even though anyone can get the same low price.

Enterprise
"Pumped"
20s
9 Sep 2013
Another oddball from the patchy rental campaign. "Pumped" staff manager insists on seeing his male colleague's "game face" in response to their weekend car deal, but after several attempts during which said colleague appears to be trying for an aneurysm, the manager senses it's just not working.

Tetley Tea
"Sydney at the Checkout"
10s
25 Aug 2013
A woman is bemused at the checkout as a muffled voice asks for help from somewhere in her shopping. She's evidently the lucky winner of the 1,000 reward for finding Tetley chap Sydney - unless of course she decides that it's a faulty packet and gets the staff to find her another (non-talking) packet from the shelf.

Tetley Tea
"Sydney on the Shelf"
20s
25 Aug 2013
There's a tiny Tetley man trapped inside a bag of tea, with a reward out for him if he gets found by a member of the public purchasing the relevant packet. It gets the idea across, but a little more crafting would have given it more impact. What form does the missing Sydney take? Would children want you to find him? Possibly a missed opportunity here.

Lastminute.com
"Expensive Room"
20s
5 Aug 2013
"This must have cost you a fortune!" gasps a young woman as her chap shows her into the sumptuous hotel room he's booked via the advertised site. "It didn't," he says, looking thrilled with himself. "Although I'm happy for you to think that." A lovely post-modern riposte and one that the target audience will appreciate.

Lastminute.com
"What Begins With 'L'?"
20s
25 Jul 2013
A cynical woman listens to her partner's cryptic proposition regarding a hot tub in an exotic location and assumes the 'L' in his question refers to "lies". It actually refers to lastminute.com, after which she appears to take him more seriously, but ultimately the state of their relationship leaves more of an impression than the website does.

Lastminute.com
"Barcelona"
20s
8 May 2013
A boss who looks like he's just about had enough tells a woman who we presume to be his secretary to cancel his meetings for the afternoon, as he's off to Barcelona. Then he adds that she's coming with him. The rest of the office look agog as a slow smile of delight spreads across her face.

Lastminute.com
"New York"
20s
28 Apr 2013
A man thinks his luck's in when his attractive female boss announces to the whole office that he's to accompany her on a trip to New York. But he hasn't quite read her eyeline correctly and she's actually addressing her husband who is sat just behind him. A diverting way of drawing attention to special offers on Atlantic travel.

Lastminute.com
"Paris"
20s
27 Apr 2013
Three women sitting in a bar drinking wine and gossiping about men consider the possibility that they could be in Paris instead. Obviously, once they reach the French capital, they'll probably spend their time drinking wine and gossiping about men - but they'll be doing it in a much better setting.

Phones 4 U
"Films On Four Sponsorship"
80s
18 Jul 2012
Complementing the current television commercials, this series of bumpers advertising the sponsorship of Films On 4 by Phones 4 U has a number of people stepping out of character to ask whether they are eligible for the current discounts available from the mobile phone retailer.

giffgaff
"The Contract"
1 min 40s
24 Apr 2012
Those old enough to remember Keith Harris in his pomp will recognise the unlikeness of this spoof and will probably derive a lot more pleasure from this than the younger generation who may have no idea who he is or what's going on. Being of a certain age, DAVID think this is rather magnificent.

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David Reviews - Lovely Lenzie Ltd, Woodbourne House, Seven Sisters, Lenzie, G66 3AW. Telephone: +44 141 776 7766. Editor: Jason Stone.