David Reviews

 Biting the hand that feeds us since 2002.

Morrisons
"Cheeseboard"
30s
12 December 2017
UK Supermarkets

Morrisons continue their orgasmic trip through the pantry, this time exulting in their posh cheeseboard. The familiar seductive voiceover details the creamy, sweet, and vintage merits of their various cheeses... so we can't blame them for running out of superlatives and simply describing the last variety as 'Spanish'. At least they can rely on the food photography to prove it's muy bueno.

Stella McCartney
"Gymnasium"

Olivier said:

so cute and unpretentious for a fashion brand


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Morrisons
"Cheeseboard"
30s
12 Dec 2017
Morrisons continue their orgasmic trip through the pantry, this time exulting in their posh cheeseboard. The familiar seductive voiceover details the creamy, sweet, and vintage merits of their various cheeses... so we can't blame them for running out of superlatives and simply describing the last variety as 'Spanish'. At least they can rely on the food photography to prove it's muy bueno.

Morrisons
"Salted Caramel"
30s
7 Dec 2017
Morrisons have finally reached peak foodgasm in their latest dessert-driven ad. This film opens with a literal gasp of pleasure, as an ASMR-friendly voiceover describes the various incarnations of their chocolatey festive puds. Quite how they manage to make 'spiced sponge cube' sound attractive, we don't know... but it works.

Morrisons
"Christmas List"
40s
15 Nov 2017
One of two festive ads from Morrisons, this 40” outing features a mixed-race family preparing for the big day. Yellow Supermarket insist they can deliver any Christmas banquet… and a bouquet, for good measure. To online trolls who claim this is part of an anti-white agenda, we say: “Welcome to 2017 - remain or leave!"

Morrisons
"Free From"
40s
8 Nov 2017
Some people need a little encouragement at Christmas, according to this Morrisons commercial. A girl frets over everything from reindeer to her nativity debut. Fortunately, big brother is always there with a reassuring “go on”... just what you want to hear at dessert. While their rivals enlist anthropomorphic bears and carrots, Yellow Supermarket stick to their formula.

Morrisons
"First Day"
40s
18 Jul 2017
Morrisons gets ready for term time with this amiable ad. A lad gears up for his first day at school, complete with pictures in his new uniform (a lovely, nonplussed performance), cuddly tiger backpack, and the nail-biting drive to the gates. He seems rather put out until lunch time rolls around, at which point he makes a new friend over tiger baps. Sweet stuff.

Morrisons
"Homecoming"
40s
12 Jun 2017
This ad for Morrisons has an elderly woman preparing for baby Jack's homecoming. She hangs banners and balloons, then heads to trusty Yellow Supermarket to pick up some pies and show off pictures of the 'new arrival'. With that build up, it's a surprise when 'Baby Jack' arrives at the door... a fully grown soldier.

Morrisons
"Raspberry Roulade"
30s
11 Apr 2017
Having previously waxed lyrical about lamb shanks, Yellow Supermarket's sultry announcer turns her attention to raspberry roulade. "Everyone deserves a treat", teases the VO as she describes what makes a Morrisons roulade stand out. Meanwhile, some enticing photography suggests going straight to dessert is the best course of action.

Morrisons
"Lamb Shanks"
30s
3 Apr 2017
The voiceover for this series of Morrison's food ads gets progressively breathier and more aroused with each outing - we're expecting a full 'When Harry Met Sally' next time. The food here looks delectable, loving shots of slow-roasted lamb and thick, silky gravy threatening to entice even the most committed veggie to consider a bite this Easter.

Morrisons
"Macarons"
10s
15 Dec 2016
This little dollop of sweetness from Morrisons features a close-up of fragile, colourful confections. The sultry voiceover sounds vaguely aroused at the prospect of these tiny meringue-based goodies, and while we're not sure what 'shimmering' brings to the taste of macarons, they certainly look delicious.

Morrisons
"Wine"
30s
8 Dec 2016
Morrisons turn their attention to the wine list in another fetching ad. The supermarket is obviously proud of its award-winning wine selection judging by the seductive presentation of reds, whites, and fizz. Liquid persuasion, indeed. This new strand of advertising suggests the brand can shift between homely and sophisticated.

Morrisons
"Party"
40s
7 Dec 2016
A wee chap gets ready for his family's Christmas party in this Morrisons ad. He's very concerned about his hair and natty outfit - because a young lady he has designs on will be attending. Luckily he's got a platter of party food ready to woo her, and they hang out under the table while the grown ups get sozzled and talk about boring stuff up above.

Morrisons
"Storage"
40s
20 Nov 2016
Space is at a premium in this festive Morrisons commercial. A household uses every nook and cranny to store the Christmas fare. Even the long-abandoned barbecue becomes a makeshift cheese pantry. Luckily, everyone and everything fits on the big day. Should resonate with anyone concerned about how the fridge is going to cope over the next few weeks.

Morrisons
"Mac & Cheese"
30s
17 Nov 2016
Morrisons present another slo-mo ad for their luxury ready meal selection. This time, it’s mac and cheese with a seafood twist. As the ingredients are presented in loving close-up, the VO lulls us into craving “the ultimate comfort food”. There’s macaroni and cheese, and then there’s Morrisons macaroni and cheese. Well, something like that.

Morrisons
"Christmas Quiz"
40s
7 Nov 2016
The Morrisons Christmas ad stars a lad with future quiz show champion written all over him. The youngster answers all manner of Christmas-related questions, while his knowledge of past Eurovision winners isn’t too shabby either. By the time the big day arrives, he’s earned his place at the table. Kudos as well for challenging granddad to a game of vintage Trivial Pursuit - none of those newfangled editions, thank you.

Morrisons
"Frangipane"
30s
21 Oct 2016
Another appetising film from Morrisons promoting their top-end dishes. This time, it's an apple frangipane tart receiving its moment in the limelight. For Great British Bake-Off fans who found the pastry round too stressful, this should do the trick. Yann Secouet and food stylist Fergal Connelly capture sugar falling like snow onto almond flakes- very Christmassy.

Morrisons
"Beef Brisket"
30s
10 Oct 2016
How do you make beef brisket and roast potatoes look sexy? It's a conundrum, for sure; but Morrisons thinks it's found the answer. Slow-motion photography savours each succulent chunk of meat and mid-air roastie, while the VO from the Dervla Kerwen School of Food Commentary makes "rich red wine, mushroom, and thyme jus" sound like a love letter. Suddenly, beef brisket's gone up in the world.

Morrisons
"New Baby"
40s
9 Sep 2016
After a tentative start, this Morrisons campaign has found its footing by depicting a strong bond between the supermarket and domestic harmony. This latest execution has a girl feeling put out by the latest addition to the family. Her observant grandpa makes sure she knows just how important she is by buying a freshly-made cake from their local store and making sure she feels special too.

Morrisons
"Toy Money"
40s
18 Jul 2016
After a hard day's work, it's nice to have a slice of apple pie waiting for you on the kitchen table. Unfortunately, this dad's offspring are all business as the pair squeeze him for all he's worth. Of course, it's Morrisons who make this pretend endeavour possible - now if they could make the little boy's voice any more high-pitched, they'd be able to keep every dog in the surrounding area quiet.

Morrisons
"Football"
40s
4 Jul 2016
Yellow Supermarket presents another idyllic slice of suburbia sparked by a football landing in the Bennetts' back garden. When two lads from next door arrive to retrieve their errant ball, we quickly see they have an ulterior motive: to sample a burger from the barbecue. A charming reminder that regardless of age, it's always good when a plan comes together.

Morrisons
"Green Plates"
40s
24 May 2016
When a small boy asks what he can eat at a family get-together, his nan tells him "anything on a green plate". That appears to be everything on the table, then. But it's not until we cut to a scene instore at Morrisons that we discover he needs foods that are free from gluten, wheat or dairy... and his question makes sense.

Morrisons
"Hot Dogs"
40s
9 May 2016
Another scene of domestic bliss from Yellow Supermarket as a man delays his journey in order to keep his children happy for a few more minutes. In between, we see mum buying the finger rolls from Morrisons which have helped her create the hot dogs she's made for him to eat before he heads off... strange that she thinks he's running late but has only just got this food ready.

Morrisons
"Morning"
40s
29 Mar 2016
The awful music can't derail the lovely commercial underneath as Publicis once again demonstrate they have the answer to Morrisons' troubles... if only the supermarket would let them provide it. An unusual breakfast time scenario unfolds as a man supervises cereal for his children while preparing fish pie for his wife. The tenderness is revealed as you realise what's what.

Morrisons
"Doughnut"
40s
29 Mar 2016
Has someone in the marketing department at Morrisons been hit by the proverbial bus? The heavy hand of the client is mercifully absent in the latest instalment of their new campaign and it's actually rather good. Dare we hope that the people who know how to make commercials are actually being trusted to get on with the job?

Morrisons
"Chairs"
40s
14 Mar 2016
It's seldom a sign of a harmonious journey when the director's name is absent from the credits distributed by the agency and we have to suspect that there were a few differences of opinion during the making of this. It isn't the strong statement you'd hope to see when an account is in the hands of a new agency and since it suffers from a familiar heavy-handedness, our suspicious nature makes us wonder whether the client appropriated the director's chair.

Morrisons
"Say It With Love"
10s
11 Feb 2016
Okay, we're a bit late with this one as Valentine's Day was last weekend but we couldn't resist adding it just so you could enjoy the sight of of what appears to be a Beef Wellington pie being prepared lovingly as a romantic treat. To make matters worse, this Frankenstein's monster of a culinary creation is also proudly offered as part of a cheapo-looking £15 deal.

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David Reviews - Lovely Lenzie Ltd, Woodbourne House, Seven Sisters, Lenzie, G66 3AW. Telephone: +44 141 776 7766. Editor: Jason Stone.