David Reviews

 Biting the hand that feeds us since 2002.

Dolmio
"Chicken Again"
20s
18 September 2017
UK Pasta Sauces

Parents will recognise the kitchen table histronics at the heart of this Dolmio commercial. When dad announces it’s chicken for dinner again, his daughter responds with a storm-force rebuke. Fortunately, normality is restored thanks to the brand’s new tray bake mix. No sign of Dominic West, but this still provides ample entertainment.

Guinness
"Compton Cowboys"

James said:

and that last line is a bit too close for comfort to the last line in sea biscuit, no?


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Dolmio
"Chicken Again"
20s
18 Sep 2017
Parents will recognise the kitchen table histronics at the heart of this Dolmio commercial. When dad announces it’s chicken for dinner again, his daughter responds with a storm-force rebuke. Fortunately, normality is restored thanks to the brand’s new tray bake mix. No sign of Dominic West, but this still provides ample entertainment.

Dolmio
"No Drama"
60s
19 Aug 2017
When DAVID mentioned to someone that he'd heard a rumour about Dominic West's involvement with a new Dolmio commercial, he was wryly asked if the star of The Wire would be working the puppets. Alas, that prediction was wide of the mark as there is no sign of the cloth-eared Italian family in the latest work... who knows, perhaps they got eaten by moths.

Dolmio
"The Meeting"
30s
12 Jan 2016
This may be the best Dolmio ad we've ever seen... now, that isn't saying a great deal as we're not huge fans of the puppet-based ads but - by offering a Godfather parody - this does at least have something about it! The familiar 'papa' from the regular ads adopts the role of - well, Don Dolmio we assume - and promises rival families an offer they can't refuse.

Dolmio
"Sofia"
30s
18 Aug 2014
Not only are women frequently stereotyped as the family cook in ads (but never cast as chefs, mind); they're also frequently unable to do more than assemble meals with the help of pre-prepared sauces and the like. In this turgid nonsense, the puppet signifying the pretty, young-and-still-clueless wife is assisted by the mother in law into making the men think she can produce tasty food. Sigh.

Dolmio
"Lucky Pants"
20s
14 Jun 2014
The thought of old poppa Dolmio wearing his "lucky pants" all through the football season is one that adds an extra level of ghastliness to this campaign. But they keep on appearing on our screen, so it must work with the audience sector who like ready-made sauces. A baffling notion, we know, but there it is.

Dolmio
"Working Meal"
30s
23 Apr 2014
The truly scary Dolmio puppets leave the sanctuary of their puppet home in this spot in order to convey a meal-laden dinner table to one of their ilk who is stuck at work. The food is supposedly so alluring a cow follows them up in the lift. We're asked by the mama puppet: "When is your Dolmio day?" DAVID can safely say 'never'.

Dolmio
"Talent"
30s
1 Mar 2014
The Dolmio couch potatoes discover grandad has a hidden talent: he can turn himself into a human beatbox. We're not sure what to say, really, and it transpires that his family aren't either. Probably for the best if he just sticks to the trick they already know - making lasagnes disappear. Hmm. Surely it's possible to make the jokes just a little more amusing?

Dolmio
"Tom Daley"
20s
22 Feb 2014
This time the stereotypical Italian puppets discuss how "healthy" Tom Daley looks and chuckles are had when it's quipped that the son bears more resemblance to Arthur Daley than the Olympic diver. This brand must stick in the British public's mind as being authentically Italian because of these ads... baffling, isn't it?

Dolmio
"Hair Plugs"
20s
4 Jan 2014
The not-at-all stereotypical Italian puppet family gather together to watch TV in this bumper for STV. They're discussing whether a personality on the screen has had hair plugs, before the son ribs his dad about getting a transplant of his own. The inevitable joke about hair loss running in the family crops up and naturally hilarity ensues.

Dolmio
"Lasagne Kit"
30s
25 Sep 2013
So not only are the simplistic Italian stereotypes played by puppets, but they don't even make their own lasagne. How much more removed from authenticity can Dolmio get? The disturbing thing is, people must be responding positively to this campaign or it wouldn't keep churning out more of the same.

Dolmio
"Sofia & Carlo"
30s
19 Aug 2011
More from the puppets who try to persuade us to buy the advertised food by using comic Italian accents. Carlo hurries home to Sofia so he can gawp at himself in a mirror and suggest that he tastes as good as anything cooked by his mother... the weirdo.

Dolmio
"As Nature Intended"
30s
6 Apr 2011
Two of the puppets think that their parents have become naturists in this typically dire ad for tomato-based gloop. It's all a 'hilarious' misunderstanding in the end with comedy Italian accents designed to remind us that this a version of a food found in Italy.

Dolmio
"Our Winners"
60s
20 Nov 2010
There's an obvious problem with building an ad campaign around contributions from the public... and it's exemplified by the bloody awful entries provided in response to Dolmio's competition. Still, on the plus side, the puppet based ads they impersonate suddenly don't look so dire, after all.

Dolmio
"Who Will You Be?"
40s
16 Oct 2010
On the plus side, it's good to see a development in this long-running campaign but that's where the pluses end. They're launching a Youtube competition which bids to find people who can reproduce the xenophobia of the ads in real life.

Dolmio
"Home-Made Lasagne"
30s
21 Apr 2010
Would we be unkind to suggest that those on screen aren't the only muppets involved in the making of this commercial? Since this campaign has been running for a fair while, we can only assume that the muppets among the audience respond to this by buying the advertised gloop.

Dolmio
"Win A Family Holiday"
30s
21 Nov 2009
The Dolmio muppets go through the 'today's the day' routine before a voiceover reveals that we can win a competition if we can identify the country in which Bolognese sauce originated. Easy... but here's a trickier one: in which country is Dolmio made?

Dolmio
"Today's The Day"
10s
10 Oct 2009
A short ad for Dolmio featuring the usual puppets (including a chicken that looks like it may have escaped from the set of Spitting Image in the early 1990s) getting excited about the prospect of eating the gloop loosely based on Italian cuisine.

Dolmio
"Today's The Day"
30s
25 Jan 2009


Dolmio
"Tomatoes"
30s
19 Sep 2007
Another puppet-based ad for the Mars Corporation's range of gloop for pasta makes a pitch for the healthiness of the product. The granny who allegedly makes the sauce declares that if an ingredient isn't in her kitchen, it won't be found in the sauce. Makes you worry about her kitchen really.

Dolmio
"School Children"
30s
20 Aug 2007
Another ad for the EU-manufactured gloop designed for people too inept to cook has the Italian puppets inexplicably trying to get their hands on the stuff by pretending to be children. Apparently, the latest variant of the sauce has been specially designed for youngsters.

Dolmio
"Passion"
30s
13 Aug 2007
The younger two clichéd Italian puppets are being spied on by the older pair. It's hard to know whether they are hoping to learn about the food or just hoping to see some cloth-on-cloth action as the passionate duo get it on. Either way, it's not exactly Gold Blend is it?

Dolmio
"Second Honeymoon"
30s
3 Jul 2007
The clichéd Italian puppet grandfather is taking his wife on a second honeymoon but unsure whether they'll be able to find pasta sauce in Tuscany as nice as the red gloop (manufactured in the EU) provided by Dolmio, they decide to stay at home instead. If you buy it, you're only encouraging them.

Dolmio
"Just For Kids"
10s
13 Feb 2007
The Papa puppet dresses as a schoolchild in the latest instalment of this tepid series for the Masterfood brand. Apparently this variant is 'just for kids' but tastes so good that grown-ups might want it too... provided their taste buds are retarded.

Dolmio
"Staying In"
20s
14 Jan 2007
More from the Italian puppets with an unhealthy enthusiasm for the Dutch-made pasta sauces Here Dad is about to go out when he catches a whiff of his wife's cooking and changes his mind. The chickens, who look like they were imported from the Muppet Show, look on with bemusement.

Dolmio
"Football"
20s
20 Nov 2006
The boy from the puppet family is about to go outside and play football when the smell of granny's Bolognese persuades him to stay inside instead. That's the way... encourage indolent youth to eat instead of playing outside. Presumably they will invest in a fattened puppet to represent the boy next time.

1-25 of 42 Results

David Reviews - Lovely Lenzie Ltd, Woodbourne House, Seven Sisters, Lenzie, G66 3AW. Telephone: +44 141 776 7766. Editor: Jason Stone.